Handicaps, Buggies & Dancing

Wow, what an introduction to the GCA. I joined in September 2009 and was immediately Press Ganged, sorry nominated onto the committee.

I attended my first meeting on a cold windy day in Castle Donnington in January, and Press Ganged, sorry volunteered to arrange this years golf day.
Why, you may wonder? Well, I have been fortunate enough to have been invited to attend the previous 6 GCA annual golf days as a guest of Paul Fenton from JP Polymer Sheetings and I felt that the time was right to let Paul’s wallet have a rest and get some of my ideas, thoughts and opinions outside of Munsch’ies walls.

July seemed a long way off on that morning back in January when the committee were asked for suggestions as to where this year’s golf day should be held.

Sandy McEwen explored Scotland, but following the slightly disappointing attendance at Slaley Hall in 2009, that was put on the back burner. A Leicestershire course was considered due to its central location and I was asked to suggest one other. I looked at providing the best value for money services, coupled with a central location and a quality golf course.

When we compared the different options Shrigley came out the winner, and I am pleased to say it proved a good choice.

Shrigley Hall Golf and Country Club is an old Salesian Monastery, set in 262 acres of stunning countryside on the edge of the Peak District overlooking the Cheshire plain as far as the Welsh mountains. It is not unusual to see a herd of deer whilst enjoying the championship golf course; that is, unless someone mentions that Keith Payne is taking his camera!

So, 27 golfers pitched up in various states of wellness, admiring the professional looking Archery equipment, and sharp looking arrows stacked outside the clubhouse. “Don’t hit your golf balls into the big wood, and we won’t aim at you… we were advised” O.K. then, that’s me sold, the sun was shining, buggies were recommended and Handicaps were mentioned, then handicaps were discussed, then handicaps were debated….. err most people didn’t like their handicaps! Oh well, never mind, and off we went.

Our hired help; retired Ex Europro Tour and Malaysian Tour Pro Andy Corrigan, gave his pre course briefing then set up the camcorder on the first tee, while people were debating handicaps….

Mark Kelly was showing everyone his new putter with a 2 foot wide face!

I had the privilege of playing with last year’s champion Paul Stansfield and Mark ‘Curtly’ Ambrose. All was going quite well over the first 4 holes until we got to the first “Prize Hole” – Nearest the pin in 2. Paul boomed his drive 330 yards down the fairway, now only 45 to the pin…. easy hey?
Now; I learnt some time ago that you should “Always leave yourself a full shank to the green!” I just forgot to tell Paul this as he sh***ed his shot to the right…. (That’s enough of that word!)

Onto the 8th, Shrigley’s signature hole and one of the finest par 3’s in the County.
The “Beat the Pro’ Challenge”
He gave us a chance missing long and left, Mark then stood up to the Tee and put it right in the middle of the green! Wahay’s all round. Paul tried laying up: in the stream; and I found out that fringe doesn’t mean green.

I would like to thank JP Polymer Sheetings here for sponsoring the Halfway House after the 9th where we were all treated to an excellent barbecue with a steak burger, corn and choice of drinks.

The group behind us were obviously taking their golf seriously whilst sipping their Isotonic drinks………. so we picked up our bottles of San Miguel and proceeded onto the back 9.

Chuckling to ourselves about the people who chose to walk, as we drove up the 1 in 3 gradient 12th fairway, (With Paul Stansfield clinging to the back of our buggy!) gave us time to admire the magnificent scenery and views.

“Best Drive” beckoned next, get it closest to the line painted in the middle of the fairway, (Painted by someone who had obviously been to the halfway house and tried the San Miguel!)
The less said about our tee shots here the better really, but Jenny West in the group behind was winning for quite a while.

Andy had finished his “Pro” duties for the time being so joined us for the remaining 4 holes and on the 18th demonstrated how to play a really difficult hole, into the wind; he hit driver, driver then wedge to reach the green…. We 3 mortals didn’t! However we did avoid the Archers in the woods…. Just.

We made it to the Courtyard bar, and started discussing…. well just about everything, Excuses, The Course, The World Cup, the squirrel that picked up my ball and put it in the bunker, England’s failure at The World Cup, The only tree on the entire hole and I have to hit it twice…

Then Alistair Inglis arrived and we talked about Scotland… and England’s failure at the world cup!

When the final group came in, rumours were abound about someone rolling a buggy….. but this will have to be confirmed…..

Having had a wonderful day so far we moved on to the evening meal and presentations. I must say, from a personal point of view that was the best ‘Corporate’ meal I have ever experienced. After Max said Grace, we started with Gala Melon and Summer Fruits, (Phew we made the right choice Julie!) locally reared Pork, seasonal vegetables, garlic mash and a peppercorn sauce, followed by cheesecake and coffee. The staff were alert and efficient. The whole serving took around an hour and the food was delicious. My thanks go to them and the Chef.

I, somehow got Press Ganged, sorry, I volunteered to present the trophies, once Keith Shepherd had said his 4 words and I thoroughly enjoyed it, although my apologies go to Simon Noble for introducing him as working for Novus!

It is fantastic to see people return year after year, and great to see new members attend these events. I only managed a fleeting conversation with them but I think the guys from Sealex thoroughly enjoyed the day…… especially Ian for rolling the buggy! I believe we have more members in the pipeline which is paramount to the success of the GCA.

Some people had great days, Mark Kelly, how did you score one point at Slaley and achieve a very respectable 20 points here? ‘Curtly’, 8 points to 17? Simon Noble didn’t throw a club in the lake! Well done to all of you and more.

I headed this article up with Handicaps, Buggies & Dancing, I’ve covered the first two…. If you want to know about the final one, drop me an e-mail and I will send you the CD, which incidentally also has everyone’s tee shots at the first.

If I am arranging this next year, I have made a promise that the handicapping system will be more reflective of people’s true abilities where they don’t currently hold an official handicap.

I would like to thank our sponsors, JP Polymer Sheetings and Maclellan Rubber; without your support the day wouldn’t have happened.

My final special mention must go to Keith Payne, who in Julie’s absence did a wonderful job, not only taking all the photo’s, but making sure the room was ready, unpacking trophies, and checking the bill! Thanks Keith.

Finally I will leave you with this:

There are no more R & A Rule changes until 2011, however I feel some people may have missed out on the recent 2009 update below:

Ball Hit Perfectly Straight

If, in fairly taking his stance on the teeing ground of any hole, a player intentionally lines up well to the left or well to the right of his desired target in order to compensate for a chronic hook or slice and proceeds to hit a straight and flawless shot directly into unplayable terrain along the margins of the hole, he may replay that shot without assessing a stroke or incurring any penalty. However, if he thereupon deliberately readjusts his customary corrective alignment to a square stance in the belief that his long-established directional error has been unexpectedly and inexplicably cured, and then hooks or slices his second ball, he must play that shot from wherever it lies, no matter how unfavourable its position, even if he can clearly and convincingly demonstrate to his fellow players that if he had adopted his habitual preventive posture, his ball would have come to rest in the middle of the fairway.

Click here to view the Results of the day.

I wish someone had reminded me….

Simon Carless
GCA Committee

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The fifth annual GCA Ladies Race Day was held earlier than usual this year at Pontefract racecourse in Yorkshire. A decent turnout was achieved by members, quite a considerable achievement in these difficult times. The ladies, as usual, looked fabulous in their racing attire. Well done to everyone for such a lovely effort. Better luck next year gentlemen!

Everyone met for a coffee or even breakfast at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Leeds on the Race Day morning. Easy to find said a ‘Mr Keith Shepherd’ but unfortunately an enthusiastic Leeds council had close a critical slip road to repaint the nearby flyover. As a result we kept seeing Debbie Thomas and Elaine Haigh driving over the aforementioned flyover several times before Mr ‘Tom Tom’ Keith talked them down into the hotel. Don’t worry girls it happens to the best of us!

We all eventually left the Crowne Plaza and arrived at the racecourse which is situated half a mile from junction 32 of the infamous M62. We were not quite sure if the bus driver was going to be there when we got back, however, we pressed on regardless. The course and facilities where very pleasant, although a little compact, this made for a friendly atmosphere. The party was met by Julie who once again had performed miracles in organising everything and thus creating a wonderful experience for all. Many thanks again to Julie. Our lounge this year was on the corner with two balconies. One overlooked the Parade Ring with the other the Finishing Post.

The formalities of the day came next with the AGM. Max Rowland, our venerable chairman, took the floor to welcome the GCA members and to introduce Robert Osborne. Robert has taken over from Paul Neale at Kingston Smith. I hope he has been warned about us and we wish him luck as our Secretary General. The re-election took place of Chairman and Deputy (Max and Keith Shepherd) and, much to everyone’s surprise, three new members to join the committee. These were Mark Birks (V Seal), Simon Winfield (MacLellan Rubber) and Simon Carless (WC Munsch). Welcome on board gentleman your help will be very much appreciated by all.

As the AGM was concluded the races finally got underway with the obligatory glass of champagne and as they say “we were off”. Next up was the race day commentator, Graham Orange, who gave a short but knowledgeable presentation of the course and the days racing. Amongst the many interesting facts he enlightened us with was that the first recorded racing was held at Pontefract in 1801. Although it was known that racing was going on from as early as the Civil War. It is the longest continuous circuit in Europe and is a left handed or anti clockwise course. It has an uphill finish and as such suits the strong staying type of horse. Should suit GCA members to a tee. He was extremely accurate with his recommendations with 5 out of 7 of his choices passing the finishing post first. Baltimore Jack, Citrus Star and Theola to name just a few. It’s a pity not all members followed this advice with some people deciding to use more fanciful ways of picking winners with varying degrees of success. Even in the last race there were three horses with diamonds in their name. We all know that diamonds are a girls’ best friend but it was a wise man that picked the winner! (Wiseman Diamond of course).

All in all it was a successful day with all the happy punters departing on the bus (which had miraculously turned up) well fed and watered. Some having gained financially, others not, but all had gained from a most enjoyable experience.

Jill Kirk - GCA Committee

Golf as a form of torture

If you read my welcome to the golf day you will know that the game of golf and I share a strange sort of relationship. I love golf… it treats me with utter contempt.

This year’s GCA tournament was going to be different though, new venue and for me new countryside. My previous visits were mostly through, rather than to, Northumberland, so as the trusty Sat Nav took us ever further into the landscape we were immediately struck by the breadth and beauty surrounding us, reminiscent of Yorkshire but uniquely different.

Slaley Hall is set amongst this grand scenery and the two championship courses wind in and amongst the rolling hills and hedgerows. The Hotel provided us with very comfortable accommodation and I was lucky enough to get an upgraded room which was so big I got lost twice on the way to the bathroom.
There was distinct contrast of old and new at Slaley, together with a good spread of facilities; one possible improvement may be the provision of buggies to get you from one end of the place to the other, or possibly provide clubs and a few holes in the corridors to keep you amused as you go.

A convivial pre-event dinner was enjoyed by us long distance travellers (and those who hate early starts) and a few relaxing tinctures. I relaxed my way to bed relatively early as I had forgotten where I had last seen the bed, (I found it on Friday). If anyone has lurid details of any events taking place after I left, we can publish at a later date.

The day arrived, excitement was at fever pitch. Some appeared to be under the weather, possibly a dodgy prawn from the night before. Despite all sorts of dire weather warnings the day was set fair and to get an idea of how fortunate we were; bunkers were declared GUR due to the amount of standing water on the course from the day before.

I was very sad to note that Ken Stroud and Paul Neale were not present. Ken has been at the heart of the GCA Golf day since it began and I cannot help feeling something had changed. Paul helped develop the day from a loose association of members to the well organised event you see today. My abiding memories are of the wine trust with Keith and Paul careering around a course to see if a particular vintage “travelled”. Keith was devastated, we will all miss him.

Frustrated with my inability to show any sign of improvement I had hatched a cunning plan to overcome a lack of form by upping the handicap and invoking sod’s law which simply states that I would come home with an embarrassment of points. Unfortunately the best of Baldric’s plans were undone by Mr Blackadder who stepped in with a maximum handicap allowance of 18.

Once more the less able were doomed to an afternoon of nil point al la stableford. I am running for election again and will make a stand on this one, Championship course means full handicap, period. I am also indebted to Phil who came up with some additional ideas for the next golf day so the longest drive will include a test of accuracy as well, opening the competition to others.

Speaking of the less able I would like to thank myself for accompanying Mark, Andrew, Neil and the ever vigilant spotter, Trevor around the 18 holes. First up, Andrew Thurlbourn, now I know he is a good golfer, he knows it too but he could not find a decent shot all afternoon and yet finished the round with a smile (possibly grimace). I know that given that sort of bad luck and poor form someone would have been wearing one of my clubs before long but Andrew can rest happy in the knowledge that Ken Stroud missed the round he had so long been waiting for.

Mark, Neil and Trevor formed their own little three- ball which made its way through the course leaving no blade of grass untouched. To set out on a championship course for the first time is a daunting experience for any novice Golfer, to do so never having held a club before must be a first. Neil did it and with Trevor offering advice and most importantly finding stray balls they made decent progress around a beautifully contoured course with some excellent holes and even better views. Mark as ever, offered encouragement and advice to Neil (and himself) with a running commentary that included the classic “See Neil, even Max can muck it up big time”. This was my duffed tee shot on the par 3 fourth, and me running at 6 points for the first 3 holes, naturally my confidence soared.

We completed our round with some relish as Mark and Neil had grabbed a goodly number of points, Andrew just knew it wasn’t his day and I, perhaps rueful of what might have been, did have a decent card. Mark and Neil’s day got a whole lot better when Mark Kelly revealed his score. I enjoyed the round and would like to thank them for putting up with me!

Having enjoyed a couple of drinks we moved to a most enjoyable dinner and again some great company. Having dealt with the small matter of prizes and announcements the evening was rounded off with great conviviality although I was still unsure where I had left the bed.

To reflect on the day and what it is all about.

I really enjoyed visiting Slaley Hall, both the hotel and golf were excellent. Numbers were down on last year which is a disappointment but was this the recession or perhaps the distance for more southerly members?
Thinking of what makes me want to go, the golf obviously, but actually I enjoy the event because of the people who make it what it is. Good crack, good company and good friends. We seem to create a good atmosphere within the event that I believe is welcoming to newcomers and comfortably pleasing to those who repeat the prescription.

PS - Golf is a game littered with technical terms to describe shots such as slice, hook and shank and with these go a special vocabulary such as “oh dear”, “oops” and “bother “. I am adding another….
Technical Term: “The croc” - where a playing partner’s trolley develops a distinct and regular click while in motion. Once aware of this then you can hear nothing else; Vis the crocodile chasing Captain Hook!

Max Rowland
GCA Chairman

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Well! This was our first visit of 2009 and our first technical visit for quite some time.
These types of visit are what the committee identified last year as being something we needed to try and focus more on. The aim of the visits are to get GCA members more up to date information as to what products and services are out there and what is available to us, the Flexitallic visit certainly delivered that for us.

The day’s events started at around 11.00 am, and for those of us who had to travel up or down the country, the day started much earlier. Some of the members had the luxury of staying overnight. In fact some members who live just around the corner managed to wangle a night out, no names mentioned Keith S. Although I had a three and a half hour drive I still managed to arrive in plenty of time, there are some good things about the recession, fewer vehicles on the road. When we arrived we were greeted in the car park by Mark Birks and Trevor Ford who were looking very dapper and surprisingly sober.

At first we were a little confused, as the directions had taken us straight to Novus Sealing? Were we in the right place? After a little walk around, we found that Flexitallic were just a little bit further along from Novus. Once we were in Flexitallic’s reception we were greeted very well, and everything had been well organised.

The day started with a much needed cup of tea, coffee and biscuits. We were then introduced to Flexitallic by their MD David Mitchell, who followed on with an interesting talk on the History of Flexitallic and their Group Structure.

At 11.15, precisely to schedule, we were split into groups for the tour of the new facilities.
The tour included a look at their inspection and test centre, spiral wound manufacturing department, warehousing facility and offices. Even though they were still settling in to their new facility they looked very well organised and in control.

In the group I was in we were graced with the presence of Alistair Inglis who was looking very well. It was clear to see that Alistair is obviously well liked by all flexitallic employees, although many had to constantly mother him and put up with his jokes.

In the testing centre we were shown their latest bit of kit for testing gasket materials, which amongst other things included testing for leakage, creep and compression. Not sure if it also made the tea?

In their warehouse they were holding a large range of standard spiral gaskets for quick turnaround. To back this up they also had an impressive manufacturing facility to cover special requirements on short lead-times. I wonder if they always have the one you want? The only way to find out is to try them I suppose.
Our group guide was Russ who obviously had a massive amount of enthusiasm, and very good product and process knowledge. Russ went into great detail in all the departments that he took us through, but would not under any circumstances, even with bribery, show us or tell us about the Thermiculite process. Despite this he gave a great tour and we had now built up a hunger and were ready to savour the best the north of England could provide.

Lunch was very generously provided by Flexitallic and I am sure that everyone had ample and enjoyed the vast array of food that was put on offer.

Once we had all had our fill (I think that is how they say it up north) we all sat down ready to hear the final part of the presentation. This was done by Russ Currie with the same passion that he had shown on the tour of the facility, Russ Currie is Flexitallic’s Applications and Engineering Manager.

Russ went through Flexitallic’s current materials developments along with a brief explanation and timeline of the introduction of gasketing materials. He them got into the detail for the Thermiculite materials and the current product offering. From what I can remember, Thermiculite has outstanding stability to high temperature and aggressive chemicals. Thermiculite materials operate in areas where graphite based products cannot cope due to graphite’s poor resistance to oxidation. Due to its unique features, Thermiculite does not oxidize and will seal for the lifetime of the joint. During the presentation Russ showed us the various stages of transformation of the Vermiculite to Thermiculite and the various forms the products can take. Russ also presented a gasket made from compressed Thermiculite, its size was about 8” in diameter. He asked for estimates as to the selling price of this product, various offers were made but not correctly. The selling price of the product was £5000, Trever Ford was astonished and asked if it came in a presentation box, Russ replied, yes it does. Strangely enough Russ did not hand the gasket around the room for all to handle. The presentation was very interesting and thought provoking and I am sure that if anyone comes across particular applications where this product is best suited it will be offered as an option.

I am sure that everyone who attended the Tour and Presentation by Flexitallic, will join me in thanking David Mitchell, Russ Currie and the whole Flexitallic team for their time, hospitallity and their thought provoking presentation.

Andrew Thurlbourn
GCA Committee

If you are reading this wondering what you would get for a relatively small outlay, please let me enlighten you. We met at Nottingham Plaza Hotel and then transported to the Race Course via luxury Coach; at the course we have a private suite with balcony overlooking the finishing post and with a view of the entire course. The parade ring is also close by and your choice of horse flesh can be viewed prior to the addition of a jockey and will hopefully confirm your belief that the chosen one will romp home on very long odds! Next up on the day is coffee and biscuits as we settled down followed by Champagne and/or orange juice with canapés as we warmed up towards lunch.

By now several people will have consulted form guides, the Course racing card (part of your package) Mystic Meg and Russell Grant, next stop those early bets so step outside the room for your own Tote desk or downstairs to the on course bookmakers as the inclination takes you. We then welcome a man of the Turf who takes us through the form with a particular slant on the Nottingham going as well as those horses who have form and those that do not.

After some official business we sat down to a very good three course luncheon with wine and followed by coffee and mints, which is a great chance to get to know your fellow members and guests while consuming vast quantities of food and alcohol. Racing starts around 1.30 and this year we enjoyed a full programme of eight races rather than the more normal seven and even if you have never placed a bet in your life you would find it so easy that in no time at all you will smelting the family silver or wondering why you go to work when winning is so easy!

Long after you wish you had kept your shirt and wondering if they use gaskets in Kathmandu there is the comforting thought that there is a complimentary bar running until shortly after the last race, so why worry? I decided long ago to stop wasting money and time on the horses and go straight to the bar! What? Still hungry – never fear there is afternoon tea just to keep you rolling along!

Now that is a great day out!

Why don’t you treat some of your staff to a day out?

What about some of your Customers? Think that is daft? Well Harrisons, Novus and BG Group have done it, so, could you? Anyway I know you want to hear more about the day.

Our day did not herald the greatest weather however despite some showers we were once again able to watch some good racing from the balcony without the need for oilskins and thermals. As we settled down it was obvious that a good time was in progress as the buzz of conversation grew and we met old and new friends. The ladies without exception had taken the event as their own with a variety of wonderful outfits and hats that really does makes the day; as in previous years Novus presented a veritable bevy of beauties including the lovely Markina Ambrosia, a late replacement for last year’s honorary girl, Gavinia Spitmore-Smith. Luckily the table was more attractively represented by Ann Stobbs and Jayne Mann from Novus with guests Jan Grieve and Lyn Weichart. Not to be outdone Keith Shepherd hosted the Harrison contingent that included Debbie from Cardiff (not Dallas), Keith’s sister Elaine who is part of the Manchester operation and Keith’s Mum, the veritable Rose Kennedy of the Shepherd dynasty; it was my great pleasure to meet her and I hope she enjoyed the day. Keith Payne was attended by his chief Lady in Waiting, Penny and two delightful hand maidens in the very acceptable form of Sam and Tracey who went on to be the life and soul of the V-Seal table and made the day for Alan Bates, Trevor Ford and Mark Birks. It was also great to see John Kirk and Simon Winfield supporting the event and enjoying it.

The race meeting is also the GCA AGM and this year proceedings were kept to a minimum with information provided to those interested rather than as a general presentation. The main business of the day was to re-elect Keith Payne to the Committee and elect 2 new committee members Sandy McEwen of William Johnston and Jill Kirk of J Flex. We also said goodbye to existing members as Richard McKnight gracefully bows out into retirement and Ken Stroud finally hangs up his committee boots as he feels that retirement has taken him away from the necessary contact with the industry. Both Richard and Ken will still be active in our social events and we look forward to seeing them there.

Following a near record time for the AGM of just under 15 minutes every one was ready for a most enjoyable lunch (my main course was last seen romping home last in the 2.30 at Catterick) and following cheese and biscuits we got on to the serious business of enjoying the days real event, the racing.

Here my personal failings get the better of me and I wisely elected to leave the betting to Angela who proceeded to complete the day in a winning way, something I have never managed to do, either by following good advice or completely ignoring it. As always there were winners and losers but smiles were everywhere and that is what counts. I would also like to thank Keith and Penny Payne for their company which was the icing on an already great day for me.

As a measure of the day’s quality, when the time came to leave it seemed to be such a pity and anti climax, well at least there was the coach to take us back to the hotel thus avoiding the need to drive when emotionally unfit or take the abstinence vow. The evening is not organised but most race-goers wisely stay overnight leaving them free to take the party onto the streets of Nottingham. This year’s revelry took in an excellent Indian meal, several bars and the local casino. For me the evening was over after the meal as the excitement and day’s liquid consumption finally caught up and overtook me. I thoroughly enjoyed the setting, the event and the great people who attended. I am not alone in that sentiment having received a warm thank you from Alan Bates which was greatly appreciated; it was good to see him and I sincerely hope to see him at future events.

To finish I would like to give my thanks to Paul and Julie for their organisation and to every-one who came along to make the day special.